Amazon wants its Thursday Night Football games to be as bad a Monday or Sunday night event as Cleveland wants a Super Bowl. Well, maybe not this bad, but still pretty bad. Tonight’s game between Pittsburgh and Cleveland features one AFC North team trying to find Ben Roethlisberger’s heir on the field, another trying to get his Roethlisberger back on the pitch, and it’s all neatly packaged on a streaming service with the occasional lag.
So let’s take a look at Prime’s quest for legitimacy and a strong signal, the Browns fans’ pursuit of a title at the expense of their character, and the Steelers’ search for someone to do pass the ball to their talented receivers.
Now the real test begins for Amazon Prime
If every Thursday night NFL game was Chiefs-Chargers caliber, the Shield would be elevated to Marvel Studios status, which regularly scares off rival movie companies on its weekend releases. Tonight’s game is not Spider-Man: No Coming Homeor even Shang Chi. Mitch Trubisky vs. Jacoby Brissett looks more like DC’s next franchise attempt, and hence why fan interest wanes over forgettable games like Bears-Commanders, Falcons-Panthers, or any contest involving the Texans.
I know Kirk Herbstreit is used to a lopsided contest or two due to his time calling college games, and Al Michaels has been around so long he had to fill airtime due to a football of Damn, but we’re about to see just how good their chemistry is during these Prime shows. Will Herbstreit try to sell the product like Cris Collinsworth is doing on Sunday night? Pushing shitty quarterbacks like a server trying to increase his check average with special moves no one wants?
We’ll know how comfortable Herbstreit is blindly supporting the mark after the Browns and Steelers traded threes and outs for the majority of the four hours (ideally with no lag). The streaming service was trolled on social media for its lag, and it likely had more to do with people’s home internet than anything else. However, in the battle between grandfather and the router there is no winner, only aggravation and insults.
Oh goodie, a national spotlight for repugnant Cleveland supporters
Of course, the NFL schedule makers thought it was a good idea to showcase the Cleveland Browns in Week 3, allowing their fans just enough time to fine-tune their Deshaun Watson defenses/signs. A week after add a healthy dose of rape jokes at their tailgate parties, we’ll see how many mentions the pit guys make of it. Sunday’s photos were impossible to ignore on Twitter, and that’s kind of a big story.
I mean we know how it goes for the NFL’s TV partners, and no one will be surprised if there’s little mention of Watson’s many settled cases or the obscene displays of the fecal matter that’s the basis of Browns fans. However, Amazon owner/Dr. Evil’s stupid brother, Jeff Bezos, owns the Washington Post and has led us to believe he cares about journalistic integrity.
I guess Al and Kirk will keep the broadcast of the NFL’s latest moral spot pretty lighthearted with lots of fake laughs and minimal frowns. Roger Goodell looked like he was already sick of Bezos’ jokes during the cut we had last Thursday, and even the Amazon founder has a clique he wants to infiltrate.
Trubisky is here for a hard time, not for long
The Kenny Pickett watch started before the season even started, and with every Mitch Trubisky throw over-, under-, or what were you looking at, the rookie backup clamor grows louder. To get away with being a terrible quarterback in Pittsburgh, you need a black-and-yellow Super Bowl title. The only clout Trubisky has is with his head coach, and that could save his starting job for a few games too many.
Don’t tell that to Steelers fans, or any sports morning pundit, because until he’s benched, the topic of the day when it comes to Pittsburgh will be Trubisky. Only the Bears and 49ers, who faced off in a relentless downpour in Week 1, have fewer passing yards than the Steelers. Unfortunately, the Steelers’ running game is also the NFL’s bottom 10.
Mike Tomlin might be, and listen to me, hesitant to put his rookie QB behind those offensive linemen for fear of losing his confidence. Why not coach a veteran there, who has played behind bad lines before, until he gets injured? It doesn’t even have to be a real serious injury; just enough to miss a game and get reps for Pickett. Chances are the inability to move the ball has more to do with the guy under the cross.