Chicago White Sox season dies the death it deserves


Yoan Moncada

Yoan Moncada
Photo: Getty Images

It’s not that you have to go back that far for a season by an MLB team that was as disappointing, confusing, and overall as big of a waste of time as the Chicago White Sox. in 2022. It wasn’t until last year that the San Diego Padres acquired all the players who weren’t nailed down and then finished under .500 while the Dodgers and Giants sprinted them to West of Newfoundland and they completely missed the playoffs. So it’s not new.

Still, the Padres were trying to create something new and still had to chase the Dodgers. Meanwhile, the Sox had just won an AL Central title last year, fired the exact same team with a few extra relievers. And they shouldn’t have faced anything in their own division. The Twins were trying to greet a comet by signing Carlos Correa to essentially a one-year contract, but were still too dependent on Byron Buxton’s ability to keep all the rubber bands holding him in place and a pitching staff that would have a one pair of steps to climb to achieve “anonymity”. Cleveland sported an entire anonymous roster beyond Jose Ramirez.

And it still is. The Guardians are only on pace for 88 wins, a total the Sox should have reached in a runaway state. As whiskey as the whole season has been, the Sox still had one last miracle to try and save themselves this week. A three-game home series against Cleveland, they had to sweep to stand a chance. And since they’ve spent the entire season doing so, they’ve sleepwalked over a rake and can now hope to put their fans out of their misery in two weeks. There’s no one associated with the Sox in any way who won’t be thrilled that this season is over: the players, the front office who’s been castrated by the owner, the fans who’ve been exhausted by everything that. Rarely has a team needed to leave as much as this one.

Oh sure, the math still says it’s possible. As you learned when you were about eight years old, math is not your friend. The math is here to make you feel like crap. Six games left, which makes it seven because Cleveland has the tiebreaker, with 13 games left. The Sox basically have to run the table from here. They won’t.

We have all told gone wrong or gone wrong with the White Sox all summer long. They didn’t play very hard, they were dumber than a post, in defense they treated the ball like a moron, and for some reason in attack they thought it was 1982 and they were going fight their way to victory instead of smashing the ball into plasma like they were designed to do. Oh, and they couldn’t stay healthy either, with various chunky asses hitting IL with soft tissue injuries, regularly.

All of that will sully a Cy Young-worthy season from Dylan Cease, the only thing Sox fans had to look forward to on the roster besides the surprise netting of Johnny Cueto right as the season dawned.

And with one last gasp, one last chance to haul themselves out of the muck they let fill the house, the Sox face planted. On Tuesday, they couldn’t get to Aaron Civale, coming off the IL, until Cleveland’s defense let them back in. The Guardians outlasted them in 11 innings, when that bullpen that GM Rick Hahn decided to waste his spare cash on instead of the holes at second or in the outfield couldn’t endure. On Wednesday, the Sox got their dicks kicked in, coming nowhere close to threatening Tristan McKenzie while Lance Lynn was pummeled.

And now their fans can put them down. The whole campaign has been bad drunk sex, hoping for a conclusion that long ago became obvious wasn’t possible but would be brought on by some cosmic miracle, meanwhile what’s supposed to be fun becomes grinding work and pointless. Apt given the usual their manager’s sobriety levels. Now everyone can go to bed for the winter and try clear eyes again.

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